Don’t welcome me (to 2015), You weren’t here first!

“Welcome to 2015!”

I keep hearing people say that like they arrived earlier than me. Unless they are in a timezone ahead of me, they really should shut up. People talking about leaving their problems in 2014. What I know is problems are there to be solved so if you leave them in 2014 who’s going to solve them for you?

It’s the beginning of a new year and people are reviewing how their life turned out in 2014. They are standing on (facebook) rooftops and shouting out all the things that happened and all the things they intend to do in the new year. Some lists are practical, like losing 10kgs and enrolling for a Masters Degree. But others just make me wonder how the hell someone will do certain things. Someone listed falling in love as one of the resolutions this year. Um, maybe it’s just me but love can’t be dictated to. Another girl said she intended to get married and have a child. How are you going to do that if you’re not in a serious relationship? I think people forget that a year only has 365 days.

So I find myself in the second week of the new year, still hesitant to list down my expectations of the year because I don’t trust myself. I’ve let myself down far too many times. Last January I wrote down that I wanted to join a gym. There must have been a shortage of gyms in Lusaka because I only got round to joining one in December. A few months ago I found a piece of paper while cleaning out my stuff, it was a list of my resolutions for 2010. When I read it I cried (well, not tears or anything but I could hear my heart wailing). It was so full of hope and wonder. I wanted to do so many things, things that I have long forgotten to keep wanting. I saw a girl who trusted in her ability to make things happen, a girl who really believed the world was at her fingertips. I saw the girl I still want to be but have forgotten how.

Now I’ve not grown, but just learnt how to act. I have now mastered the art of not expecting too much from life. I’m still considered quite “out there” by some people’s standards but by mine, I’m under-performing. I’m stuck here, unable to make resolutions not because I don’t have any but because I’m afraid I won’t achieve any. I’m reading all these articles about how to set smart goals hoping this time I won’t let myself down. But while I set my goals, don’t worry. There won’t be any of those sentimental unrealistic babble like I want to be a better me and whatnot. I’m setting tangible, achievable goals this year. And I’m not telling any of you unless it’s got an interesting story tied to it.

What have I achieved in 2014? A lot that I’m thankful for and can only attribute to good fortune and being blessed. But I won’t go shouting it on “The Facebook” as some senior citizens would call it. Sometimes I think people posting their “blessings” is just a sleek but obvious way of bragging. Things like “I would like to thank God for my brand new car in 2014”, if it’s God you’re really thanking why not just pray huh? Is he on facebook? Away from that, I’m very glad that I’m alive, healthy, in love and happy.

I wish you health and happiness.

Happy 2015.

May this not be you!

May this not be you!

2013

2013 has been good. It’s been a year of growth and changes. I started school and dropped out of it. I made my first big investment. I moved out of my parents’ house and then moved back in (rent in Lusaka can kill a girl). I bought my first furniture. I finally started this blog after years of procrastinating. Continue reading