When I was growing up my parents’ house was always full to capacity. There were always aunts, cousins, and all kinds of relations that were visiting or staying with us at any particular time. We lived in a three bedroom house. The master was my parents’ of course and in the early part of my life when my kid brothers were toddlers, the second bedroom was where everyone else slept. The third bedroom was left as a storage room. So at any given time, our bedroom would hold at least 4 of us. Later, when my brothers got older they were moved to their own room and thus the boys’ bedroom was formed. But the girls’ bedroom was always full to capacity.
I don’t know when this constant lack of space started to bother me but at some point I would spend lots of time in the bathroom just to be alone. While other girls dreamt of their crushes and whatever else girls dream about, I dreamt of having my own room that had a door that could actually lock. I was ferried to a boarding school for the first 2 years of secondary school and my home situation seemed like paradise compared to this. A group of 20 girls sharing a big room was not as bad as always having to share a shower with someone you don’t know. This time I couldn’t even escape to the toilets because they weren’t clean enough. I remember telling my mum that when I passed my Grade 12 exams, I wanted to have my own room. She smiled and mumbled something that I don’t remember.
I rent a tiny 2 bedroom flat now which I like most times. For the first time I have my own space and I’m holding on to it like crazy. But the space issue has left its mark. I can’t imagine sharing my living quarters with anyone else apart from The Hub. I figure I would feel invaded. I have a serious space issue you guys. Unexpected visitors leave me feeling resentful and a bit violated. People that call my phone in the evening when I’m at home make me cringe. My friends have to inform me a few hours before they drop by because I have to mentally prepare myself when someone is coming over. It’s got me thinking I might be made for solitary life. I dream of living in a farmhouse in the outskirts of town one day, I hope it comes true.
After years of never having any personal space or privacy, I finally have it. It’s probably something some people have never thought about depending on how they grew up. I relish the feeling of freedom at being able to walk half naked around the house. The fact that I can leave my tub of yogurt in the fridge and find it at the end of the day. I like my house and how I feel inside it but most of all I like that its mine. I don’t know if I like my space because of the lack of it when growing up or I was born like this. But one thing I know is that I’ve always desired it ever since I can remember. They say home is where the heart is. Well my heart is in a tiny 2 bedroom flat in the middle of Lusaka City and I love it.
Life has a crazy notion of timing. I moved to a new job less than a month ago and I’ve been trying to learn the strings. My previous job was extremely stressful and I dreaded having to go back every morning but then I got a new job and I was relieved. One of the best benefits of having a job for me has been medical insurance. I can just walk into a private clinic when I don’t feel well and I won’t have to pay a ngwee. But right now I’m in between insurances, I just gave up my old one with my old job and the new one is still being processed. So if I want any health services, I’ll have to pay for them myself. And as if life is a serial prankster, I fell ill last week. Continue reading
For the past few years and ever since I can remember, I’ve been trying to lose weight. I have been on so many diets and cleanses, I could write a book. I finally figured out recently that what I need is regular exercise and a healthy eating plan. so I’ve been trying to work out consistently and eat healthy and while I can testify that my energy levels have shot to the roof, my weight loss has been really slow. It’s been a rollercoaster ride with numerous ups and downs. The biggest problem has not been how hard it is to lose the pounds but how easy it is to gain them back. And every month just as I’m starting to think I’m making substantial progress, nature throws me a biological curve ball.
Sarah wanted to find love online. They found each other on craigslist, he seemed really interesting and they seemed to click so they arranged to meet up. What she didn’t know is that he is a predator and now she’s dead. Chloe was an avid texter and social media addict. She posted her every move, meal and endeavours. He stalked her on facebook. Read her every status and studied her lifestyle until one day he caught her did all the nasty stuff he had been planning from the start.
I work right opposite one of Lusaka’s big shopping malls. This means I get to walk through it two or three times a day. The proximity of such a vast number of shops has its advantages and disadvantages. There are the obvious ones of being able to get groceries on my way home without having to make any detours and having the best clothes shops at your finger tips. But there are the less obvious perks like:
Am I the only who didn’t know that most of the streets in Kalingalinga are named after birds? I should probably be ashamed of my ignorance because I somehow, not really, live there. Well, I like to tell people that I live in the Mass Media area but geographically speaking I have been living in a compound for the past 5 months. So if I ever decide to pursue a musical career, I can safely rap/sing about my life in the ghetto without being contradicted.
Towards the end of last week, I fell ill. That sentenced me to a weekend of bedrest and very little to do apart from watching the whole seventh season of Criminal minds. When your body forces you to take a break you realise that being busy stops you from thinking. Suddenly all the thoughts come rushing through as you try to sort them.
I rarely get the chance to look at myself in a full length mirror without my clothes on. But when I do, it’s usually with a critical eye figuring out what should have been different. That’s exactly what I was doing one day in 2003 when I noticed something different. Continue reading
He’s coming back soon. He told me so himself.When he’s back we’ll hang out like we always do.With him being so handsome and me in perfect health.He’ll call me, you’ll see!He’s probably just busy with work or maybe he doesn’t have enough credit, I just have to wait. I keep checking his facebook page for a new status, a new comment, wallpost, anything. He’s not gone, he’s just silent. I keep turning my head in church coz I know he might walk in late and sit next to me like he always does. Or maybe he’s just out of coverage area. He’ll text me soon, I probably should check my mailbox. There’s obviously an email waiting for me.