People need to relax their shoe game

Everybody loves shoes. Or so they say. I know some people who own dozens of shoes. I own about 2 dozen pairs but I only ever wear like 2 pairs on a daily. I love how shoes look on some people but I mainly look out for comfort when buying mine. Some people though want their shoes to shine brighter than 10 suns and cast away the darkness. Which brings me to this picture:

Some Zambian church folks are big culprits you guys. They go out and buy the whitest suit they can find and wear it with shoes like those labeled Daddy pastor. They even change their accents and adopt a Nigerian one. Which reminds me, what’s up with some church folk speaking like Nigerians? They even change their vocabulary and use “blessed” instead of “fine” when you ask them how they’re feeling. They call you sister or brother in a disturbingly deep and hoarse voice that is different from the one they use at home. Anyway, so these men have a high affinity for really flashy shoes and it’s hard for me to imagine that they spent so much money. I am particularly adverse to those crocodile shoes that seem to be liked by some. The building committee guy’s shoes are cool. I have a love/hate relationship with brogues. I think they’re ugly but I love them because they have so much character kind of like a bulldog.

Men probably lack a lot of choice when it comes to shoes. Women are spoilt in that aspect. So when you are faced with a career crisis all you’re left with is this:

Please tell me those are not real shoes! Tell me someone photo-shopped this image because I need to sleep tonight. The horror! No shoe company would ever commit such a crime, right? I don’t know man. There are so many crazy things going on in this world. This might be legit. I have questions though. How do you kick a ball without puncturing it? How long should the trousers be when preaching? I just don’t know anything anymore.

Then there are the women whose toes are out of control like this:

WHY?! You have got to know when to quit! When your toes are acting like unruly toddlers you have to bring order. That small toe though! It’s a hater! It lives to bring anguish to its owner. Or maybe it’s rebelling! After years of being hit on the bed corner or table leg it finally decided enough was enough and gave up. The questions I have: What happened for the toe to just give out and betray this woman like that? Why does the woman not care? Whose relative is this? I kind of believe the caption. This is a punishment. Something happened. It could have been the tithe or something else. Maybe she urinated in the shower or forgot to flush after using a public toilet. Or maybe she’s one of those people that don’t wipe off their sweat after using equipment in the gym. I don’t know man. I just can’t deal.


One thought on “People need to relax their shoe game

  1. Pingback: Shoddy Artwork and Ugly Shoes | Autumn Eyez

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