I’m sick but I swear I’m not pregnant!!

Life has a crazy notion of timing. I moved to a new job less than a month ago and I’ve been trying to learn the strings. My previous job was extremely stressful and I dreaded having to go back every morning but then I got a new job and I was relieved. One of the best benefits of having a job for me has been medical insurance. I can just walk into a private clinic when I don’t feel well and I won’t have to pay a ngwee. But right now I’m in between insurances, I just gave up my old one with my old job and the new one is still being processed. So if I want any health services, I’ll have to pay for them myself. And as if life is a serial prankster, I fell ill last week.

Last Thursday I went back home with a splitting headache, I assumed it was exhaustion so I went straight to bed. The next morning, the headache was far from over. But since it was my first few weeks on the job, I dragged myself to office. When afternoon came, I went straight to bed (thank God for half day Fridays). This time I had a fever, I was shivering and had absolutely no taste in my mouth. I didn’t tell anyone I was unwell, not even my nurse mom. I couldn’t be sick now, I had the Jazz Festival I had to attend. Besides, at this stage, any sickness is read as pregnancy symptoms and the second I say I’m sick, smirks and knowing looks arrive on people’s faces. So I slept through Saturday morning and I was rested enough to attend it. But Sunday proved to be a lot worse and by Monday, I had a continuous nausea problem. The sight and thought of food made my stomach so queasy you would think I was seasick.

I found my way to a local government health center and was examined, the medical officer took one look at me and commented “si mimba chabe iyi? (isn’t this just pregnancy)” I didn’t think it was but we did the test anyway and it was negative. So the guy figured it was just stress and chronic fatigue and let me go with a handful of painkillers. The headache eventually went away after a few days but the nausea is still here and I still have no taste in my mouth. We now suspect it’s a gas problem but we’ll only know for sure when we visit the clinic (and I’m waiting for my insurance to be ready). You would think I’d lose weight from all the food I haven’t been able to eat but nah! still the same. This sickness, whatever it is, has crippled my life you guys! All I can do after work is go straight to bed because I have little energy for anything else. The nausea is killing me. I hear weed is good for such, could someone hook a sister up? And when I tell someone I’m sick, their tuma eyes go straight to my belly and I’m forced to stand up straight and suck it in. I swear I’m not pregnant okay! I’m just a chubby girl with a temporarily weak immune system!