I’m thinking of making this a thing. You know where I post poems or photos from long ago to let you see the mind of younger me. So this week I’m posting a piece I wrote in 2010. It’s called “Enough”
I have a theory. I think that when a child turns 5, he is given a memo.
It tells him what to think and it lists down a few things. It says;
1) You’re not good enough
2) You’re not good enough, and
3) You’re not good enough
I must have read it because how else would I know its content and how else would I turn out like this?
All I have to show for my age are dreams, and even they are sneaking away from me.
My wounds have not yet matured into scars and my decisions have not yet grown into regrets.
Because all my life, I have been told that I’m not talented enough, I’m not pretty enough or tall enough. I’m not slim enough and my voice is not quite enough. My fashion sense isn’t quite foxy enough. I’m not friendly enough, neither am I eloquent enough. My smile doesn’t sparkle enough. Apparently, I am not enough.
But I will tell you this; my body is strong enough. My knowledge is old enough. My mind is fast enough. My perspective is young enough. My emotions are hidden enough. My loneliness has stayed long enough. My scars don’t show enough. My wounds, they hurt more than enough. Apathy has been my friend long enough. Insecurity stings painfully enough. My face has been wet with enough tears. And yes, maybe the back of my ears is not dry enough because my identity has been in a crisis for long enough.But I have come to the realization that maybe I have not loved myself enough.
So I have another idea for the memo. Let it be edited and let it read;
1) Success has a totally different definition from what you’ve seen advertised.
2) The media is not always right, it rarely is, and
3) Yes, maybe you are quite different from the rest but there’s nothing wrong with that, you are still good enough. You always were enough.