A lot of people have been asking me how marriage is. My single friends want to find out if it’s all people say it is or as horrible as some say it is. How is it? Do I like it? They ask me with a curiosity that I possessed only a few months ago. They ask me as if somehow my answer will determine if they should go ahead and get married. The married people want to find out how I’m finding the new environment that has been their home for a while now. Have we had our first big argument yet? And when I say no, they tell me to wait because it’s definitely coming. We are still in the honeymoon stage but just wait a while, the storms are definitely coming. They say that with such gust you would think they are looking forward to it.
However, in the few months that I’ve been with The Hub, I’ve learnt that marriage means different things to different people. How our marriage turns up is determined by us. So what is marriage to me? Marriage is The Hub preparing me breakfast in the morning cause he knows I’m running late (I’m always running late). Marriage is calling him first the moment I get a promotion. It is movie marathons and watching enough series that our minds go numb. Marriage is Sunday brunches and midnight snacks. Marriage is having someone to rub my back when I wake up crying from nightmares. Marriage is having someone to nurse me in my occasional bouts of depression. Marriage is dinner and movie dates. Marriage is inside jokes and secret languages. Marriage is intimate glances and angry outbursts. Marriage is having moments of surplus and moments of little. Marriage is shared brownies and boxes of popcorn. Marriage is The Hub holding me and praying for me just before I dash out each morning. Marriage is laundry; cooking and cleaning. Marriage is getting a whole new family and loving them in their craziness. Marriage is making grown up decisions like when or if to have kids (yes, not having any is an option). Marriage is being absolutely open to one human; it’s a huge gamble but so worth it. Marriage is having someone to witness my life first hand because otherwise I would have passed through without a trace. Marriage is putting my heart in The Hub’s hands knowing full well that he can break it but trusting him not to (with a few threats, of course).
It is the tiny character traits of a person that make them a pleasure or a pain. It is the little everyday things that make a marriage great or gloomy. Marriage is having sleepovers with my best friend every night, in our own house with our own rules. It’s a blast!