After my last blog, a few people quizzed me on my name choice when referring to my significant other. Apparently the term “boyfriend”is not appropriate for a man I’m engaged to. I had never given it much thought before now. It turns out I’m supposed to call him my “fiancé”.
I didn’t realise how much I disliked that word until I was asked why I don’t use it. And here’s why I don’t:
1) I use boyfriend coz I haven’t had a chance to use it for long. All my previous relationships were either too short-lived or too hush-hush to tell anyone about my boyfriend. So I finally have a legit relationship and you tell me I have to let go of the boyfriend term? Noooooooo!!!
2) Most people pronounce “fiance” or “fiancé” wrongly. I have a colleague who has a few syndromes (LR and AH syndrome) that affect his pronounciations. So fiance to him is “fyansi”. I’ve heard that and so many other wrong pronounciations that I’ve grown to dislike the word. My own boyfriend says it as “fiyonse”. I cringe everytime. (Sorry Hun!)
3) Growing up in the church, you get to see so many people come and go. I’ve always disapproved the way some church folk sort of shed off their individuality and merge into this communal personality. So they all end up talking the same way and having the same aura. And when they get engaged, they call each other “fiance”. So everytime I hear that word, I associate it with over-zealous, holier-than-thou, white-shoe-wearing christians about to get married. I know it doesn’t make sense but very few things do.
I know there are other words that mean the same thing e.g betrothed, promised, intended, husband-to-be. But is it that bad if I call him my boyfriend? Anyway, we’re supposed to be true to ourselves and I feel pretentious when I use that word so boyfriend it is then.
Does any of you know any other words that can be used?